I ☹ (hate) you, UPS

I ordered a TiVO on Tuesday night from Amazon with 2 day shipping.  It was too late in the day, so it counted as being ordered on Wednesday.  Estimated delivery?  Friday.  So, I called up Verizon to order cable cards for it.  They quickly scheduled a technician to come out (?!) and deliver them and install them Monday morning.  Perfect.

Then, UPS got involved.  Check out the shipping history of this package:

US 01/23/2008 @ 10:32 A.M. BILLING INFORMATION RECEIVED Okay. Perfect.
EAST PETERSBURG, PA, US 01/24/2008 @ 5:15 A.M. AN INCORRECT ROUTING AT A UPS FACILITY CAUSED THIS DELAY / THE PACKAGE WAS MISSORTED AT THE HUB. IT HAS BEEN REROUTED TO THE CORRECT DESTINATION SITE Wait. What? At this point, this is 14 hours later and the first comment I get is something went wrong? Alright, but the expected arrival date is still correct. I bet they’re going to fix this screw up.
EAST PETERSBURG, PA, US 01/24/2008 11:59 P.M. DEPARTURE SCAN Wow. Uh… 18+ hours before it starts moving again? That seems bad.
HORSHAM, PA, US 01/25/2008 6:30 A.M. ARRIVAL SCAN Okay. So more than 6 hours travel time. Let’s check the map and see how far away these two places are. Hmm… 90 minutes away. That’s not good…
HORSHAM, PA, US 01/25/2008 7:46 A.M. DEPARTURE SCAN Well, that’s a little better… But now the expected arrival date is Monday! Unless I can fix something, I’m going to have to cancel Verizon
SADDLE BROOK, NJ, US 01/25/2008 @ 10:05 A.M. ARRIVAL SCAN Getting closer, but still Monday delivery.

This is a UPS screw up.  It happens sometimes, right?  Nothing to worry about.  I’ve seen their ads where you can fix problems and they’ll help out!  So I call them and detail the problem.  I need the shipment before Monday. (the customer service rep mentions the package won’t arrive until the end of day on Monday)

“I need this before Monday, can you change it to Saturday delivery?”

“No, it’s on a truck right now with 5000 other packages.  We can’t pull just one package off, we don’t know where it is.”

“I need this before Monday.  This is your error, I paid for delivery to be on Friday, what can you do?”

“Call Amazon and have them pay for a package intercept back to them.  When it arrives (!) have them ship it again next day air with Saturday delivery.”

So, they can’t find the package unless Amazon (I can’t do it) pays them to find it.  In which case they can get it back to Amazon in time to reship it to me at GREAT expense for Saturday delivery.  Yes, that’s the case, although the original delivery charge would be refunded.

Awesome.

I hate you, UPS.

(Yes, I called Amazon to suggest this insane scheme, and they refused for some strange reason.)